There's a particular silence in a head's office on the first morning. Nobody's told you about it because nobody talks about it. It's the silence of everyone in the building waiting to see who you'll be.
Twenty years in primary leadership has put me close to a lot of first terms. Some have been remarkable. Some have been quietly disastrous. Most have been somewhere in between — survived by people who got there mostly by accident, and slowly learned what worked.
This is the essay I wish someone had given me before my first day. It isn't a checklist. It's a small set of things to notice, with the questions I now think every new head should sit with at least once in their first ninety days.
1. The first decision is who not to be.
Most new heads have been preparing for years. They've been Deputies or Assistant Heads under someone they admired, or under someone they swore they'd never become. Often both. By day one they have a clear picture of the head they want to be.
What they have less of: a clear picture of the head they're not going to be.
In my experience the first 90 days will pressure-test that. Within two weeks you'll be offered a chance to be the head who gives quick decisions on things you don't yet understand. You'll be offered a chance to be the head who's always in their office. The head who never gets visibly upset. The head who fixes the timetable themselves at midnight.
All of these are options. The choice you make in your first term sets a precedent that takes years to unwind. So: decide what you won't be, and notice when you're tempted.
2. Listen for what nobody is saying.
Every school has a small number of things that are common knowledge inside the building but never said. A teacher everyone is protecting. A subject that's been quietly slipping for three years. A parent group that has unofficial influence. A budget line that doesn't make sense.
In your first term, you can hear these things if you listen for them. The clue is usually in the pauses. Someone will start a sentence and stop. Someone will mention a name and quickly move on. Someone will say "we just don't talk about that" with a small laugh.
Write these down. Don't act on them yet. The school is teaching you its own grammar — you're going to want this vocabulary later.
3. Don't change anything in the first six weeks.
This is the advice everyone gives. It's still right.
There is one exception, and it's worth naming. If something is unsafe — safeguarding, building, behaviour — you act on day one. Everything else can wait until at least the half-term break, and most things can wait until Christmas.
The trap most new heads fall into isn't impatience. It's kindness. Someone will explain a problem to you in week two, and you'll want to help. So you'll make a small change. Then another. By half-term you've made eight small changes, and the staff are quietly furious because they thought you said you weren't going to change anything.
Practise saying: "I've heard you, and I'm going to wait." Then mean it.
4. Find one person who will tell you when you're wrong.
Within a fortnight, you'll notice that almost no-one in the building is going to tell you when you're wrong. They'll smooth, they'll soften, they'll wait until you leave the room. Some of this is respect. Most of it is self-protection.
You need at least one person whose job it is to tell you when you're wrong. This might be your Deputy, but it often shouldn't be — their job is too entangled with yours. It might be a peer head you trust. It might be a coach. It shouldn't be your partner, because that's not what partners are for.
Find this person before half-term. Tell them what their job is. Pay them attention when they do it.
5. Leave at five on Fridays.
In your first term, the staff will be watching what you do, not what you say. If you stay until seven every night, you're telling the building that staying until seven is what good heads do.
If you leave at five on Fridays, looking unbothered, you're telling the building that leaving at five is allowed.
You will pay for it on Sunday night. That's the deal. The deal is worth it.
Four questions worth sitting with.
One per fortnight. Write the answer down. Don't read it back until the end of term.
- iWho, in this school, am I afraid of?There's usually someone. Naming it for yourself doesn't fix it, but it shows you where your judgment will get distorted.
- iiWhat am I trying to prove, and to whom?Most new heads are trying to prove something to someone who isn't in the building. A previous boss. A parent. Themselves at fifteen. Knowing what you're proving makes it less likely to drive bad decisions.
- iiiWhat did I assume about this job that's already been wrong?By week six there will be something. Find it. Write down what you've learned. Update your model of the role.
- ivWho would I trust to tell me, at the end of the year, that this isn't working?If you can't think of anyone, that's your first piece of work. The job is too lonely to do without one such person.
The first 90 days are not where you prove you can do the job. They're where you learn what the job actually is.
Almost no-one starts the role with a clear picture of that. Most heads I've worked with are still updating their picture two years in.
Take it slowly. Notice what you notice. Find your one person. Leave at five on Friday.